See You in the Beit Hamikdash!

The Baby Conventions

2011-09-19T11:43:00.002+03:00

You know what the Geneva Conventions of 1929 were? So in 1947 the babies of the world got together and made up the Baby Conventions. These were a set of rules that all babies have to act a specific way, in order to protest unfair treatment at the hands of their parents. Here are some of their rules:

1) Do not go to sleep for the night until 10:30 or 11:00. If you do so for more than four and a half months, you will be kicked out of the Baby Union.

2) Scream at random times in the middle of the night, or in between feedings and naptimes, in order to confuse your parents. Scream and scream and scream for at least forty-five minutes, or until you have been passed from your father to your mother, from your mother to your father and back again, at least three or four times.

3) Reach for anything and everything that your parents did not give you to play with. Show that that you want equal treatment as part of the family and will not tolerate simple baby toys or books.

4) Insist on being played with and not playing by yourself, unless you have a babysitter who is learning/ learned on you.

5) Insist on being held when your parents eat, and reach for their food. Also insist on being held for at least forty-five minutes right when your parents arrive home. Do not let your parents clean, cook, or accomplish anything else while you are awake.

Many Things

2011-08-23T05:21:00.002+03:00

The problem with blogging is that I always think of such great things to post, but by the time I get both a chance to sit down AND an internet connection, they have all flown away from me. I have so many things to say, but none of the ones occurring to me right now are appropriate for telling the world. So, a certain girl by the name of M (or S14, her other alias) will just have to email me personally. Especially since I don't think anyone else (excepting the Admou"r Creedmoor, of course) reads this blog anymore.

Which is a shame, of course. But it also makes me feel less guilty when I can't post. As they say, life goes two ways.

Potatoes

2011-04-28T02:41:00.002+03:00

Potatoes should be #1 kitniyot product. They make a flour that looks like wheat flour, much more than rice, peas, corn, and other such products.

To Fall Asleep...

2011-04-07T21:03:00.002+03:00

Drink warm milk spiked with some oxytocin. The downside is that sometimes you will wake up only a little bit later. But at any rate, it will most probably get you some sleep. Or, you can overwork yourself and not sleep or eat enough. Either one works. Good luck!

Reasons for Absence

2011-02-17T11:51:00.001+02:00

I know I have been delinquent in attending to this blog. Even though I often have interesting ideas for posts, and lofty ideas to tell you, I never have the patience to turn on the computer, plug it in, and connect to the internet. To be honest, I don't have patience for email, either. I check my email, make sure there isn't anything urgent or important, reply to perhaps one person a day (if today isn't your day, you might get a response tomorrow or next week), and sign off. Oh, and I check my bank information and test marks on the internet, too.

One of the reasons for this is that I have to type up papers. Doing so requires discipline and a computer. And frankly, when you start to associate the computer with your yet-to-be-completed projects, then the computer starts to take on an unpleasant association. So naturally, you want to stay away from it.

The other reason is that I have just been busy. The two projects mentioned before were completed and handed in before R"C Shvat, B"H. But I still have other projects - projects that I am afraid to push off, for fear that they won't get finished, ever. Not only do I want to finish everything this year, so that I can get my degree, but I am also afraid of falling prey to the trend that takes so many others. The trend is as follows: taking five, six, or more years to finish up your projects, and/or having to come in one day a week to take a course that you either didn't take or didn't pass, when you already have two or three kids. NOT my idea of fun, especially since without a degree, you get paid practically a negative salary. So - I have till Pesach (this is what I'm giving myself) to finish any and all avodot that are due now. The stuff for classes I take currently - I want to see if I can finish before, but that requires asking the teacher for the assignment, and if I end up doing it when it is assigned, the world will not come to an end. BUT I do need to finish projects that were given up until this past semester. So, wish me luck.

I do intend, upon finishing the vast majority of these projects, to start blogging more often. But again, I can't promise.

Under Pressure

2010-12-29T12:55:00.002+02:00

I have two projects that, if I hand them in late until Rosh Chodesh Shvat, I have to pay 50 shekels. However, if I hand them in late after Rosh Chodesh Shvat (ie, more than one year after the course), then I have to pay 250 shekels.

Thank G-d, one is done and waiting (for a while, actually), and the other one I am now in the middle of, with my motivation being the saving of 200 shekels. It's not that I couldn't afford it if I wanted to put it off, thank G-d. It's just that I am a bit stingy..and have always been. Well, now it comes in handy. So, I am translating and revising my project, and Y. is kind enough to help me find the mekorot for the footnotes (and was kind enough to give me ideas, as well). The countdown begins...can I hand it in on time?

Wish me luck...

(The good thing is that now these projects will get done, because I'd like to finish everything this year, get my degree, and not have to worry about it next year. Actually, I'd like to finish before Rosh Chodesh Adar 1. But that remains to be seen...)

This IS Arson

2010-12-06T10:12:00.004+02:00

A partial view of the forest on Har Carmel, before the fire.

Firefighters working to sustain the fire on Har Carmel.

The enormous fire that has raged since Thursday in the Carmel is arson. Arson, by Arab terrorists. Perhaps that is not how it started - it started by two stupid boys' negligence. But its continuation was aided by Arabs, celebrated by Arabs, and those same Arabs purposely started other fires in the rest of Israel, during the crisis. This is not the first time. There are other terrorists who have used arson as their weapon.

But I must say one thing: If you celebrate the fire and encourage it, then do not have the chutzpa to claim this land. Granted, you don't seem to have any value for human life. But if this land is so precious to you, then you shouldn't be celebrating when thousands and thousands of hundred-year-old trees catch fire. Get out of here, you lying thieves. Get out of here, and don't come back. Don't show your faces again - not here, not drowned in the sea - not anywhere. Jump off the same cliff they pushed the goat to Azazel off of - and be smashed to smithereens before you reach halfway down the cliff. (In other words - a standard Israeli curse, more appropriately phrased.)

To end on a positive note - thank you to all those internationally who helped, and continue to help us fight this fire. Thank you, on behalf of the entire nation.

And thanks to Hashem, who finally decided to help us fight the fire - and hopefully, the North is getting more drenched than Yerushalayim is.

May we soon see the day when there will be no more terror, no more lying, cheating, stupid Muslim terrorist organizations, and the world will recognize that Israel is the land of the Jews, from thousands of years past, and until forever.

And may we see a winter drenched in rain, with perhaps a moderate [in Israeli terms] amount of snow, and the Kinneret overflowing.

Old Posts

2010-12-06T10:11:00.000+02:00

I looked at my drafts and discovered quite a few old, and probably unfinished posts that were pretty decent. However, though probably unfinished with regards to the thought processes that created them, they sound quite complete when you read through them. With this in mind, I posted them. Feel free to take a look - or not, if you so choose.'

Smicha

2010-11-23T10:26:00.002+02:00

Regular Chabad-bochur smicha is usually done in about a year. It includes Shabbos, Taaruvos, Basar B'chalav, and Melicha. That is, I think that's what it includes. However, Shabbos is a substitute for treifos, and without treifos, bochur-smicha is no smicha at all.

At any rate: this program is usually done in about a year, half a year for those who are more serious, and for those who are serious and/or studious and also smart, two to four months is sufficient. I would add that were these bochurim to be married, the program would probably take a bit more time, simply because they probably wouldn't be sitting in yeshiva from morning to evening. Enough said. (BTW, this smicha is referred to as "yoreh yoreh", whereas rabbanim have "yadin yadin".)

Chabad rabbanim, apparently, learn real bochur-smicha more b'iyun, with the commentaries, and generally have a knowledge of hilchos Shabbos, as well. This, I assume, probably takes two to three years, and probably around one year for the more serious/smart group, or possibly for the iluy, only six months. Whatever, point made.

Smicha, as in, to be a moreh horaa, in Israel, however, takes about five or six years on average. The reason for this is the required curriculum: 1) Issur v'heter (basar b'chalav, melicha, taaruvos, bishulei aku"m), 2) Shabbos, 3) Nidda, 4) Mikva'ot, 5) Kiddushin, 6) Eiruvin, 7) Aveilut (kria, aninut, aveilut). Ha! This takes five to six years with a program - without one, I would assume longer. Anyone, in my opinion, who thinks that they can do it in eight months, is nuts. I think a year/year and a half, is a miracle, and two or three years for a smart, serious, person might be plausible.

May I not forget to add that if you want to be a rav, you also need shimush (and possibly also dayanut, depending).

Oh, and the father of one of my friends offered to give me bochur-smicha if I came to him after learning the material and passed the tests (he's the one who told me what bochur-smicha included). He said it's not really hard, all you need is time and motivation. One day...

The Question is Where

2010-11-04T14:02:00.004+02:00

I don't mind a mess. But sometimes, the mess can get too much. Last night, I started feeling claustrophobic - I felt like everything was a balagan. Guess what? Move the hat, move the backpack - and the room looks decently neat. For this reason, I was told, "Chana, I moved TWO things. TWO things do not constitute a mess."

That's true. Two things aren't a mess. That made me think, and after about three minutes I realized that, at least for me, the problem seems to be where the mess is - not how big it is, or what it's made of.

For example:

- a backpack on the couch is messy; a backpack on the floor, leaning against the couch, is practically invisible.

- two shoes together, by the wall, is fine; two shoes - not together - in the middle of the floor, is not fine.

- pajamas strewn messily on the floor are annoying; pajamas strewn in the same manner on the bed are not noticed.

- an unemptied mikva bag on the couch is messy, but I will happily empty an unemptied mikva bag that is hanging in the bathroom.

- a hat on the table is annoying; a hat on top of two stacked hatboxes that are sitting on the floor against the wall isn't a problem.

- a chair in the middle of the floor is disastrous; the same chair against a wall (not where it belongs, either) can sit there for days and I won't care.

- clothes strewn on the desk are a Problem; clothes strewn in the same fashion on the desk chair are not.

- two socks on top of each other in the middle of the floor are fine; the same socks in different places on the floor are messy.

- sfarim on the couch are an awful mess; sfarim on the table are in their second home.

- a bucket in the corner of the living room is not okay; a bucket by the head of my bed is [unfortunately] not noticed.

- dirty dishes on the counter are disgusting; dirty dishes in the sink can sit there (until my overly-sensitive nose takes offense, which usually takes about six hours of them sitting there).

- and so on.

Basically, what I learned last night was something that I've known for a while, but haven't been able to properly define. I live in a mess, albeit an organized mess. The problem, as I would assume it is for most people is not about "what", but about "where" and "how". Many people would define papers strewn all over a desk as messy - but who would call those same papers messy, when stacked in an imperfect pile? It's not the papers that are inherently the problem; it's how they look and where they are that bothers us. Or rather, bothers those who find papers bothersome.

It's not the kid who's tugging your shirt that bothers you; it's the fact that he's doing it while you're talking on the phone to your best friend that's the problem. In other words - not who, but when. Most people, unfortunately, confuse the who/what with the when/where/how.

Often, I do it, too. It's not that I don't appreciate when my mother/MIL ask me semi-personal or personal questions. It's how and when those questions are asked that determine my reaction. If my MIL had asked these questions when I first met her, I would have considered her a nosy busybody who it's best to avoid. If she asked them in a tone of voice that said she didn't care (how), didn't respond appropriately (how), or didn't allow me time to respond (when), then I would not want to share information with her. And the same, obviously, for my mother. If I don't talk to my mother a lot, it's not because of who she is (my mother), but rather because of how she responds, when she asks, and how she reacts, long term, to the fact that I shared information with her.

If your kid sister "is a pest", chances are that she is not the pest (who), but rather her actions at that moment (when) or in that fashion (how) are annoying you. There aren't "good" kids, and there aren't "bad" kids. There ARE kids who know "when" and "how" to act, and "where" which actions are appropriate. So...labeling kids is not a good idea, and calling the house (what) a mess isn't a good idea, either. The question, rather, is how the kid's actions are problematic, and how the house is a mess - which, of course, will also lead you to correcting the when and where of the problem, as well.

Anti-Social

2010-11-04T09:28:00.003+02:00

I have been meaning to post something for a while, now...but I really have nothing to say. So I had two ideas:

1) I can post about the projects I managed to finish, and those I still have to work on.

2) I can get someone else to do what I have no patience to bother with - i.e., post about chassidus.

I guess I have no patience because posting about chassidus requires explaining it, and that is something that I am out of patience for. Either you get it - or you don't. Not a very nice attitude, but that is where my nerves are at this point. I simply have no patience for stupidity, shtuyot, or unnecessary explanations. One day, I will put some work into changing that attitude. In the meantime, I have more pressing things to put effort into. See, I don't have to like the whole world, and I don't have to interact with each one on a daily basis, either. But patience for people who actually count in my life - this is worth working on right now. Patience for people who aren't - or don't need to be/shouldn't be - part of my life, well, this is something that is of secondary importance.

And now the title of this post is understood to be meaningful in two ways: First of all, my lack of posts is antisocial. And second, my lack of patience is antisocial. I guess it's a good thing that I'm usually too tired to worry about being social at all.

So Much To Say...

2010-10-26T09:51:00.002+02:00

I have so many comments on posts people wrote...and of course, I read these posts at times when I really have no more than a minute to spare, which means that I can't really comment. So I bookmark it in my head, meaning to comment later, and then just lose the urge to bother.

So...

The Anti-Phone Scheme

2010-10-25T13:38:00.004+02:00

Nobody is answering their phone today. Well, that's not exactly true - two or three people who I called DID answer. However, another two people, who I needed to speak to a lot more, did NOT answer. I, also, did not answer my phone when most people called today. I answered two calls and ignored two people consistently. I will call them back later, IY"H. But right now, I don't have the headspace to talk to them. I need the two people who didn't answer ME to answer their phones, tell me what I need to know, and then I can make phone calls and sort through the rest of my day.

I think, or rather, I thought, while beginning this post, that the world was scheming not to answer my phone calls today. I guess that's not true. And if the world IS scheming not to answer phone calls, then I am in on the scheme.

So.....

The Fly in the Coffee

2010-10-12T00:40:00.002+02:00

What happens when a fly falls into a coffee cup?

The Italian - throws the cup and walks away in a fit of rage.

The Frenchman - takes out the fly, and drinks the coffee.

The Chinese - eats the fly and throws away the coffee.

The Russian - drinks the coffee with the fly, since it was extra with no charge.

The Israeli - sells the coffee to the Frenchman, the fly to the Chinese, and then buys himself a new cup of coffee and uses the extra money to invent a device that prevents flies from falling into coffee.

The Palestinian - blames the Israeli for the fly falling in his coffee, protests the act of aggression to the U.N., and takes a loan from the E.U. to buy a new cup of coffee. He then uses the money to purchase explosives, and blows up the coffee house where the Italian, the Frenchman, the Chinese, and the Russian are all trying to explain to the Israeli that he should give his cup of coffee up to the Palestinian.

-received in an email a long, long time ago

New Form of Exercise

2010-10-07T17:22:00.003+02:00

The newest form of exercises to strengthen your stomach muscles is one that you probably never thought of, yet have been doing intermittently for many years. It is called constipation. When one is constipated, they have to lean back, take a deep breath, and work very hard to push out their feces. This helps to tone the muscles in the stomach and pelvis, something especially important for performing specific vital activities.

Therefore, one should not despair when constipated, but should rather drink some more fluids, eat more vegetables, and attempt to become slightly less constipated, in order that during the next exercise session, he or she will feel slightly more rewarded for the effort than they felt during the prior session. And above all, enjoy burning calories (if that is your thing), or toning your stomach muscles without doing push-ups or other exercises (if that is your thing). Good luck!

P.S. - I am not giving this post a picture, for obvious reasons.

P.P.S. - Do not push too hard, else you cause damage, ch"v.

Living In A Bubble

2010-10-05T11:33:00.003+02:00

Do I live in a bubble? I guess I do. So be it.

Why "so be it"? Shouldn't one live in the real world? Maybe so. But I have news for you. All of us live in a bubble. Mine is a Chana-bubble. Yours is a Mushkie-bubble or a Mendy-bubble or a Sara-bubble or a Shmuly-bubble. But we all live in a bubble.

I don't see the real world. Neither do you. The "real" world is what we live in, but everyone sees it with their own eyes, from their own perspective, and spaces out about different things. We live in different areas of the world. To not live in a bubble, perhaps I should be more worried about nukes, or the American economy, or China, or Russia giving Syria anti-ship missiles. However, all those things in themselves are part of the politics-bubble. Maybe I should be concerned about making sure that we have a green planet. But that is part of the environmentalist bubble.

Macrobiotics are supposed to give you peace with your body and ensure that you live the healthiest life possible. But it also says I should be concerned about going to the bathroom in the middle of the night, and being constipated. And it also says that I should avoid dairy, and eat tofu instead. You know, dairy is there for a reason. Tofu isn't good for everyone. So I can either join the macrobiotic bubble, or decide to try to add some foods and nutrients that I may be lacking, and not go nuts.

Some people live in a school bubble, or a work bubble. That is all they concentrate on in life. Well, this is one of my bubbles for the next week or two. But it's not my whole life. Other people are in a fashion bubble, or a social bubble. And some lucky human beings just live their lives the way they ought, the way they need to, and don't get into the "what will other people think" bubble.

But in the end, we all live in a bubble. You can't be equally a part of all aspects of real life. So you pick priorities - and don't think about the rest on a regular basis. It protects you from too much stress and too many irrelevant details. And so, you live in a bubble. You live...in your bubble. That no one else can really understand, because their psyche is different, their emotions are different, and they are an entirely different person than you...and therefore they live in an entirely different bubble than you. Even if their bubble meets yours and interacts with it.

Simchas....Torah?

2010-09-30T20:21:00.003+02:00

Or simchas mashke?

For that matter, I didn't know that halacha allowed someone who was drunk to recite pesukim or to start bentching. Or, for that matter, to get an aliya or daven. It must be New Halacha II, that sefer that I didn't yet learn because it isn't well-sourced. Or maybe it's found in Hilchot Tzfatim.

Also in Hilchot Tzfatim is the new nusach for hakafot: Ana adonai yeshu hoshia na, ana adonai yeshu hatzlicha na, ana adonai yeshu aneinu b'yom kareinu.

Yep, that's what they said during the first hakafa last night - and then laughed... Obviously, we went to a different shul today.

Call, Don't Email

2010-09-20T10:21:00.006+02:00

If you didn't yet realize, my cell phone number is at the top of my CV. Please do NOT email me three hours before I'm supposed to leave for an interview in order to change the location. It is very unprofessional.

And what if I hadn't checked my email when I did - because I had already checked it, or because I check it in the early afternoon? So then I would have gone to the wrong place? And then what?

Please don't waste my time. If you have a last minute, unprofessional, move to make - at least do not consider it confirmed until I let you know that I received your message. Don't "ask me" - aka tell me - and then say thank you for my agreeing, even though I have not received your message.

If I don't see a good reason to work with you, I think that simply on the basis of this, I might just turn this job down.

Oh - and emailing me yesterday morning asking if an interview yesterday at 1:00 would work - is very unprofessional as well. I don't mind spontaneous interviews. But if you'd like to meet at one TODAY, then pick up my phone - you have my number - and call.

You'd better agree to me taking Mondays off and working Fridays instead, and you'd also better be paying something worth the headache I think I'm getting into. At one point, I thought maybe I could leave early on Mondays instead of just taking the day off - but now I'm not so sure it'll work, and besides for that, I'm not sure that I need to be making compromises with so unprofessional a company.

True, I need a job. But you know what? I'm qualified enough that I think I'll find a job worth doing. And if yours isn't - so be it.

Kapparot HP

2010-09-20T08:02:00.003+02:00

For kapparot, we had heard about two or three different options. One was in Gilo, where apparently they do everything for you, for 40 shekels. One was with Y.'s kollel, where they had a stand by the shuk, and they did everything (shchita, melicha, feathers, etc.) for 55 shekels. Then there was one in Bayit Vegan that only cost 30 shekels, but they only shecht it for you - you have to do the feathers, melicha, etc. Of course, you can always go to Meah Shearim and take a look around, but you have no guarantee of what you'll find....

Anyways, even though most people don't do this, you're supposed to eat the chicken you did kapparot with. Then Y. got it into his head that it would help his understanding of the halacha, in addition to being really cool, if we did the melicha ourselves. I told him that he can do it, and count me out. "But don't you want to understand the halacha?!" All I had to do was ask if he wanted me to start throwing up again - and he gave in.

He asked a rav and found out that everything he needed to know about it was in the KS"A. We have a bucket for use in mopping the floor, so apparently all we needed were a few boards, kashering salt, and a knife that we could make treif. However, by oversight, these things were not bought before Erev Yom Kippur, and therefore, buying them would mean that we would be doing melicha all afternoon. Not a good idea.

So, with Meah Shearim and Bayit Vegan out, because they don't do melicha, we were left with either Gilo or the shuk. But, apparently, no one knew where in Gilo to go...so for lack of time, we went to the shuk and spent a total of 30 more shekels. (However, being that there was a minyan to make, we did not spend the extra two hours necessary in order to get the chicken back after it was kashered. So no, we did not eat the chicken that we did kapparot with, much to our dismay. Next year, I think Y. is going to kasher them himself. Without my help, I think.)

We had gone with friends of ours (neighbors also, and they had a car), and sometime in the late morning, we discovered that we had 2 honey cakes. Why? Because the store had a "buy one, get one free" deal - so why not take the second as a freebie? Anyways, I offered it to the friend we had gone with, and she was very happy to take it, since she hadn't had time to bake. So we met, and then she mentioned that the kapparot in Gilo had canceled at the last minute, and they hadn't notified anyone who had ordered chickens there. Anyone who was planning on doing kapparot in Gilo had ended up doing it on money instead.

Well. I guess it wasn't an extra 30 shekels after all. If we'd gone to Gilo, we wouldn't have had time to go anywhere else in time to do kapparot before Shacharit. Good thing none of us knew where it was, huh?

Caffeine and ADHD

2010-09-16T08:49:00.004+02:00

I have ADHD. I used to drink coffee, which helped me concentrate. Coffee, as we all know, is a stimulant. Or rather, caffeine is. So some ADHDs like Coke, some coffee, and some tea. Most people drink caffeine, and it gives them more energy. That's because stimulants will do just what it sounds like - stimulate your brain, thus making you more awake and energetic.

Well, a person with ADHD doesn't get more awake with stimulants. Instead, they become more settled. So really and truly, coffee (or caffeinated tea, as the case may be) helped me concentrate. It didn't give me more energy, like it gives [most of] you. It calmed me down. (This, by the way, is why Ritalin, when given to a kid without ADHD, often makes him worse. The parents think he's not taking it, or he's getting too much sugar, or something...and the truth is, if he doesn't have ADHD, Ritalin will send him bouncing off the ceiling, if before it was only off the walls.)

Anyways, for health reasons, I decided to quit coffee. Then I decided to cut down on the tea, and eventually I switched to tea that says "No Caffeine". And, dummy me, I only realized yesterday, when talking about ADHD and its treatments with a friend, that no caffeine was probably one of the reasons I can't concentrate. Over the course of the summer, I haven't felt great. But even when I did feel decent, or more than decent, I still couldn't get stuff done. I would start, and after two minutes, get distracted or lose patience. Where I used to be able to work for ten minutes, or even force myself to do one whole assignment (if it was under an hour), now I can't sit for more than two minutes - unless I'm procrastinating. Yep, ADHD rears its ugly head.

Yesterday, while looking in an old Acamol bottle that I use for travel (it has Ibuprofen and Acamol in it now), I noticed a few Adderalls that we have saved, and thought of taking half to help me get stuff done. I almost did...until I remembered that I needed to check the safety of it first. Obviously, I didn't take it. Also obviously, nothing got done. And now I know why......

But.....I can't start drinking coffee or caffeinated tea again, for health reasons. Grrr. So what do I do? Flunk?

P.S. - One more sign of ADHD: I wanted to post this on this blog, of course. So I did "new post" etc...and at the end, when I pressed, "publish post" and then "view post" - I notice that I posted it on my poetry blog. It took about a second to fix, but it is so typical that it's not even funny. Although it was funny, when I noticed my mistake. Grr...

Translating Values

2010-09-13T18:27:00.007+02:00

I posted on Janglo as a translator - which I am. About a week ago, I received the following email:

Note: Please do not honor the site involved with any hits or google searches.

Hey,

Hiddush - For Freedom of religion and equality , A non profit organization is looking to hire a translator for specific projects. Please send your CV and references.

Thank you,
SL

sara***h@*******.org
077-5*****1

Besides the fact that this email does not sound very professional, I had my doubts about any organization called "Hiddush". It somehow struck me as sounding Reform, since any religious organization would have either used a different name, or spelled it differently. So I put off answering them.

Today I took another look - after all, it is unprofessional to simply ignore emails. 'For Freedom of Religion and Equality'? Well, thinks I, if they are an organization, they probably have a website. And so I googled them, and indeed they do. For political reasons, as well as personal ones, I will not link to the site, being that I would rather not provide them with any more hits than I already have.

Suffice it to say that they support accepting Reform conversions as halachically kosher. While I understand the pain of those who thought they were Jewish and find out that they are not, I also must say that while it may not be the child's fault, it definitely is the parent's. If you chose not to do an Orthodox conversion, then you chose not to convert in a halachically acceptable way. If your 'rabbi' warned you that Israel might not accept your conversion, and you didn't care, then you set your children up for disappointments and broken hearts. (I would like to point out that I have nothing against geirim, and that my MIL and FIL are both geirei tzedek.)

Also, Reform and Conservative do not get government funding for shuls and mikva'ot, and are not allowed to use existing government-funded mikva'ot for their conversions. The site claims that this is discriminatory, and for once I agree with the government: One of the Shas representatives said:

"According to the law for Jewish Religious Services, the Chief Rabbinate is the sole body responsible for providing religious services. And they do this in accordance with halacha. Since the Conservative and the Reform do not conform to halacha, they are not eligible for state funds. Nor do they have the right to use existing mikva'ot and synagogues."

(A woman who wants to go to mikva is not asked how she identifies herself. However, she obviously goes alone unless it is a day or two before her wedding, so anyone with an accompaniment is either a bride or needs to explain herself. In addition, these mikva'ot are open only at night...not convenient for anyone not looking to go according to halacha. And men's mikva'ot, only open in the morning, are, for the most part, unsupervised except perhaps for someone who sits in the entrance to help anyone for whom the machine doesn't work. However, they are usually crowded, and not exactly the place for anyone not used to it.)

These are two articles of complaint that I read about on this site. Obviously, I am unwilling to put in time, even paid time, translating for an organization that goes against halacha. I may feel bad for these people, but I applaud the government for standing up for halacha. And I am certainly unwilling to aid their anti-halacha stance, no matter how many other religious Jews are stupid enough to support it. So I sent the following reply:

Hi,
I took a look at your organization's website, and do not feel that I can devote time, even paid time, to promoting that which goes against halacha. Thank you for your interest, and I hope you are successful in your search for a translator.

Shana tova,
Chana

And that is all I have to say on the subject. Needless to say, the last part of the second sentence was said to be polite, and I truly hope that their efforts in advocating and advancing anti-halachic laws in Israel fail.

I reiterate: Please do not honor their site by any google searches or hits.

Dominant?

2010-09-13T09:44:00.004+02:00

Is red-headedness a dominant gene? I don't think so...

So then why did I read on a medical website that it is (reading medical websites is my new procrastination technique), and therefore, in families where there is one redhead, you will likely find others? For sure it's not so odd to see two or three redheaded siblings, but..dominant? Not when there's any other color in the family...

And what about the family where everyone has black hair except for the one gingi, who everyone considers to be some kind of genetic fluke?

One word: What-ever. Just don't tell me that red-headedness is dominant, when even blond appears more frequently.

Don't Be A Frier

2010-09-12T18:34:00.003+02:00

We live on a one-lane street that allows two-way traffic. Technically, this street could be two lanes, but since practically no one has a driveway, one side of the street serves as parking. This is normal, and nobody really cares. Thus I said that the street is one-lane.

As you can imagine, a two-way one-lane street often gets cars facing off. It also doesn't help that this street is also part of a bus route, and the buses go both ways, as well. And, obviously, there are parts of the street where this happens more often than it does on other parts. Most of the face-offs happen slightly to the left of our mirpeset, affording us a good view and a good laugh every time.

So, what usually happens? Two cars meet, with about three feet in between. The drivers honk their horns, then roll down their windows, and start screaming. The guy on the left, Guy A., lower down, says he was here first. The guy on the right, Guy B., says he has right of way, to which Guy A. argues and threatens to call the police. Meanwhile, there are two cars behind A. and three behind B..

Those behind B. realize what has happened and the first one left enough space between him and B. so that B. can back up. Those behind A. are waiting, and sometimes honking (but usually not, because they already know what the holdup is). A., B., or both are out of their cars, with cell phones in hand, and one or both is speaking with the police. Obviously, they are both right. And why should the one who is right have to back up? This goes on for five to ten minutes, until one of them decides that backing up will save another ten minutes, and/or decides that he does not want to deal with the police.

The big boy backs up, so do those behind, him, and the problem is solved. Now, when there is a bus behind the guy who gave in, backing up can be a slight problem, because there is a traffic circle on one side and an intersection on the other side - so the bus has to back into one of those, depending on where he is coming from.

Funnier than this is when a car gets into a power struggle with a bus. The bus is coming from whichever direction it may be, and the car from the opposite direction. Now, you would think that since it is so much more complicated for a bus to back up than for a car, that there would be no question about who gives in. Actually, there is no question of who gives in - the question is only when he is smart enough to give in. This usually takes no more than two to five minutes, however, and there is rarely any screaming, so it usually isn't that funny, except when the driver seems exceptionally dull and thinks that he can make the bus driver go backwards.

The funniest is when two buses meet - not because of how it is handled, but because of how it two buses meeting on this tiny street looks. For a long time, we thought that Egged timed this route specifically so that the buses would not meet each other going in opposite directions here. It turns out that this is not true. While it is a rare case, sometimes buses meet right in front of our window, going in opposite directions. Usually, though, the drivers know each other and are on friendly terms. They honk at each other once or twice, and then figure out which of them will move (probably based on who has more space behind him) and figure it out like big boys. But it is funny to see two buses at a loss for where to go.

The first two cases have something in common: Even if it is completely irrational, you MUST NOT give in. Do NOT be a frier, or else...or else! On the other hand, when two buses meet, they get where they are going fastest, even though their situation is the hardest to get out of. Why? Because they figure out who can move more easily, and that person moves. It is not an issue for them of not being a frier. They have routes to run and jobs to do, and wasting time is not on their agenda. And, of course, Not Being A Frier can be one of the top time-wasters in Israel. Sometimes, it gets you what you want and would not otherwise get. Sometimes, it gets you in trouble. And sometimes, it wastes time and while it may get you what you want - you would have gotten where you wanted to be a lot faster had you given in.

So - would you rather be a frier or get where you want to go?

Q and A

2010-09-12T18:14:00.003+02:00

Q: What do soggy pizza, parve hot dogs, and fast days, all have in common?

A: They all mess up your stomach.

Q: What's the difference between a person with a cold and a prize fighter?

A: One blows his nose, and the other has no nose.

Q: Why did they spread the the me'umad teki'ot over the length of the amida, instead of centering them in one place?

A: So that everyone would finish davening at approximately the same time, and would know that there's no point in rushing.

Q: Why is Chana posting this?

A: Because she's procrastinating.

Clock Change

2010-09-12T18:12:00.002+02:00

...that I only realized in the middle of the day.
How convenient - Tzom Gedalya just got an hour shorter. And now I woke up at a decent hour, even.

It's just too bad I forgot about this last night.

Cumin

2010-09-06T19:42:00.003+03:00

As a side point that may help someone:

If your stomach is upset, mix one teaspoon of cumin into a cup of [preferably hot] water (or tea, or sugar water) and drink the mixture - it helps calm your stomach. Alternatively, ginger also helps - you can put the root into your tea, chopped up, or buy crystallized ginger (looks kind of like dried pineapple).

-this I heard from Dr. D. Dikman

Reasons for Not Sleeping

2010-09-06T19:08:00.004+03:00

In alphabetical order:

1) Assignment due tomorrow - 25 page research paper that you didn't do anything about until this week.

2) Bathroom trip and now you're hungry.

3) Can't get comfortable, because every position bothers some part of the body.

4) Gastro-whatever it is (that looks like salmonella, but apparently isn't) that makes you need the bathroom (for #3) every half hour, and if you eat or drink, every fifteen/twenty minutes.

5) Hungry and no energy to get out of bed and find something to eat.

6) Muscle cramps.

7) One person calls at one in the morning, and then someone else calls at one-thirty.

8) People call at midnight.

9) Someone is having a concert that STARTED at 11pm and isn't finished yet at 2:30.

10) Some teenagers are having a loud party that drags on into the middle of the night.

11) Spent half the night in the ER.

12) Stomach flu that keeps you up, throwing up or nauseous (and then throwing up again) for half the night.

13) The alarm clock for someone to say tikkun chatzot woke you up as well.

14) Too long a nap on Shabbat afternoon makes sleep motza"Sh impossible.

15) Worries about things that needed to be done three weeks ago, and still aren't done.

16) You didn't get enough exercise earlier, and now you're not tired enough to sleep.

17) You were asleep, and someone decided to start up his motorcycle right outside your window.

18) You were asleep, but somehow got a neckache that won't let you fall asleep again.

Kiddush and Havdala

2010-09-02T21:00:00.004+03:00

"אם היהודים לא עושים קידוש, אז הגויים יעשו הבדלה"
"If Jews do not do kiddush (i.e., sanctification), then the non-Jews will do havdala (i.e., separation)."

I wish I knew the source of this quote...

Kiddush comes from the root ק.ד.ש., which means sanctification. Sanctifying something essentially means separating it from the rest of the group and placing it a level above. So, sanctifying Shabbat means that this day is separated for the Jewish people, and on a higher plane than the rest of the days. Obviously, this separation requires extra respect, thus more boundaries and regulations than other days.

Havdala is also separation between what is higher and lower, but something that is muvdal (separated), is not on a higher level. In fact, usually, something that is muvdal is either simply on a lower level, or it has some kind of blemish, that makes it stand out, attracting not-so-nice attention.

With this knowledge, we can better understand the above quote. Jews are always different. If we, as Jews sanctify ourselves, then we will be treated as on a higher level and respected among the goyim. However, the minute that the Jew begins to forget his sanctification and to mix with the goyim, attempting to be like them, he will be forcibly reminded by those around him that he is different, and will automatically become the victim of discrimination. Discrimination, of course, is the nasty treatment of those who are....different.

So, there's no point in trying to be the same, if, in essence, we are not. The question only remains: Who decides that there is a difference, and how are we treated as a result of our difference?

Anti-Chareidi?

2010-08-25T18:08:00.002+03:00

From Ynet:

Child allowances increase birth among Arabs, haredim
Study shows decision to increase sum granted in monthly child allowances between 1994-2004 led to 6%-7% increase in Arab birthrate, 3% increase in ultra-Orthodox birthrate.

You know what? After seeing those statistics, I'd cut child allowances, too. For anyone concerned about Arab-Jewish demographics in Israel, cutting child allowances means that there will be a 7% decrease in Arab births - and only 3% - less than half - in Jewish births. IF that 3% actually choose to use birth control, which, though it happens, is not extremely likely. I'd say 1.5% of those who don't use birth control now will begin doing so. Of course, among young chareidi couples, especially where one is learning or they feel like "they don't know each other enough", preventing a first birth or a second is becoming more common. But that doesn't have to do with their financial situation; it has to do with personal convenience and not wanting a baby too soon.

But isn't it worth it to have a near 10% drop in Arab birth rates? And then everyone screams at the government for being anti-chareidi. (They should know that Arabs scream at the government for being anti-Arab, because even though both Arab and Chareidi populations have large families, Chareidim are eligible for benefits that Arabs aren't - thank G-d. At least the government has some sense...educational benefits and supplements for Arabs will just go towards teaching hatred of Israel - no reason to support it.)

Of Marriage, Fried Brains, and Other Things

2010-08-16T14:32:00.004+03:00

Warning: I am about to sound like Bad4.

Why does marriage seem to fry so many girls' brains? Okay, so it hasn't fried mine yet, nor those of some others that I know. And some people's brains were fried long before they even got engaged. But sometimes, I look at someone, someone who used to be smart, who used to have decent taste, who used to think for herself and have interesting, valuable, opinions...and now, once she has been married for a while, thinks only of fashions, furniture, clothes, and related items. Foresight, insight, Torah, education, books...anything and everything besides for Facebook, Twitter, and her husband, fade into oblivion. If she lives in Israel, she also may look at the sites of yad2, Ikea, or kama. But...what happened to the seichel?! To the person who could talk about anything and everything, who cared about what happened with the world, who liked to learn, who...who...was similar to myself and shared my "head in the books" philosophy...what happened to her?

To be fair, I've also learned slightly less than prior to my marriage. But that has to do with being under the weather 3/5 of the time, and having to make up any gaps and missed work the other 2/5 of the time. However, I still have the same head as I used to, I still learn when I have the time (ie, Shabbat, when I can't do anything with a pen, computer, etc. anyways), and still try to learn like I did...and I kind of miss my [former] friends' heads, as well. Perhaps I can try to stay in touch, but without any common ground, it's kind of hard to maintain a friendship, you know? Especially when she's too absorbed in whatever the muck is that fills her head to have any time for the rest of us, for the outside world, for work, for...anything, to bother.

Someone please tell me - what happened to their brains? Is that what happened in the cheder yichud, that their husbands scooped them out? And she wasn't like this even when she got engaged...so what happened now?

R"A, R"Y

2010-06-16T10:44:00.003+03:00

.רבי ישמעאל אומר - רשות רבי עקיבא אומר - חובה

?מאי טעמא דרבי ישמעאל

ואולי יש להבין את זה דרך מה שאמרו (בנדרים? או גיטין?) שרבי ישמעאל אומר שהתורה ניתנה כללותה למשה רבינו בהרסיני

ופרטותיה מגילה מגילה באוהל מועד. ולפי רבי עקיבא ניתנה כולה בהר סיני, כללותיה ופרטותיה. ומובן מזה שלפי דברי רבי

ישמעאל יש דרגות שונות של צוויים, כשלרבי עקיבא כל דאורייתא באותו דרגא הוא. אבל בגמרא מביאים את הפסוקים מהם דברי שניהם נלמדים! מוויכוח זה לומדים כלל?! וההמשך יבוא, כי עוד לא מצאתי לזה תשובה

Rubashkin Forwards

2010-06-01T19:43:00.003+03:00

I haven't posted in a long time, and haven't posted about politics in even longer. But I am going to say a few sentences, and with that close the subject.

I get a lot of forwards asking me to sign petitions about helping Sholom Rubashkin. My theories on petitions are a different subject, but in short, I don't think they work that well. What I can say is that I get the same email about five different times, during any given few weeks, from about five different people. Well, even if I chose to sign it, with my maiden name and again with my married name, that would only be twice...and one would be dishonest. (Yes, in my youth I used to use my different email accounts for different signatures. I did teshuva since then.) Also, if you've already sent this out, PLEASE don't send it again.

Then you get DIFFERENT petitions, but they're about the same thing. How many different petitions can you do on the same topic? Y'allah....

And, if you didn't ask before, ask now: What is my opinion on the case in the first place? Well, it's like this: Rubashkin was wrong. He might be getting a SLIGHTLY more severe punishment than was called for, but honestly, if you'd let it lie, he probably would have been treated like anyone else. Noise makes anti-Semitism. I'm not blaming petitioners. I don't think that's fair; I also don't really think that signing endless petitions will do anything.

Dina d'malchusa dina, and Rubashkin transgressed that in a way that the government believes requires a fitting punishment. And his act is one that made a huge, unforgivable chilul Hashem. So please don't send me emails to sign petitions - they either get filed or deleted, depending on my mood. And if you really don't want frum Jews getting in trouble with the law, then maybe we should rethink the current chinuch system, so that we will see more honest behavior.

Now I'm going to duck out of the way...

Finally....

2010-04-11T20:48:00.001+03:00

Not Dead Yet

2010-02-14T22:57:00.001+02:00

No, I'm not dead yet, thank G-d. Just very, very busy. And I get sick every two weeks, it seems. So, one day, IY"H, when I am slightly less busy and feeling slightly better, I will start posting again....

Done!

2009-11-27T03:48:00.001+02:00

Good!

Reason For Absence and Lateness

2009-11-05T15:19:00.003+02:00

Rare it is that my computer actually allows me to access this page, whether to leave comments and post. Know that I am not ignoring your comments, but rather, the computer and internet are being weird.
May it soon have a refua shleima.

The Unspoken

2009-11-01T20:28:00.002+02:00

Since no one has asked for part 2, I assume it isn't worth writing up. I did, however, have some more gems that I intended to put here, but, as of right now, I don't remember them. Oh, well. If anyone has an idea of how to get over my "google is being weird/writer's block/too busy" bug, then please let me know. For now...I will blog when I can, and if it's REALLY important to people, I'll try for once a week. Otherwise...

Interdependence and Marriage

2009-10-20T21:32:00.002+02:00

For some odd reason, in the past few months, nobody seems to have any qualms about asking me for advice on shidduchim. I'm honestly not sure what prompted this turn of events, but hey, why not? All I can do is try...and the effort is definitely worth it. Anyways, before you get any ideas, a disclaimer: The following was not phrased to me as a question, however, but as a complaint. So, here is my opinion on their complaint:

Somebody complained that a certain girl seems to be very emotionally needy. Similarly, I've heard complaints about boys with this chisaron. So, the question obviously goes: If a person is emotionally needy, should they even be thinking about marriage, or will the neediness ruin the relationship?

And here the answer: If one person is needy, he or she becomes a taker, and the other person becomes a giver. This is not a bad thing, but.... The giver becomes drained, worn out, pressured, stressed, and sometimes resentful of doing all the work. And for their part, the receiver becomes unhealthily indebted to the partner who is doing the work of a therapist, and may sometimes begin to take the generosity for granted, and expect it. Obviously, in a relatively short time, a relationship that works like this will deteriorate.

However, if both partners are needy, the situation becomes entirely different. And, since I have no more koach to type, there will be a part 2, IY"H.

Rules For Chavrusas

2009-10-11T02:22:00.005+02:00

1) When unsure of the meaning of a Hebrew word that turned Aramaic by the addition of an "aleph" at the end, always trust the partner with the better Hebrew. If you both are Israeli, products of the same schools and society, then you shouldn't be arguing about it in the first place.

2) When unsure of the meaning of an Aramaic word that bears no resemblance to Hebrew whatsoever, always trust the partner with the better knowledge of Gemara.

3) Thank you to the person I was studying with, who taught me these rules. Of course, being that said person is not Israeli, I was the partner with the better Hebrew. And, of course, I had the correct translation of the word. However, I was not the partner with the better knowledge of Gemara, and so, on that point, I give way.

4) When trying to study, do not talk about other subjects that are unrelated to the topic of study. For instance, if studying Hilchot Sefirat Ha'Omer, do not talk about Hilchot Sukka, unless they bear a direct connection to the halachot being studied. Otherwise, you run the risk of arguing Torah that is off-topic, and not getting any real learning done. This is true ESPECIALLY if the two chavrusas like to argue.

5) Make sure that in case you have a problem with the Russian in the text, you have a dictionary on you. You wouldn't want to get stuck with a Russian word that you don't know the meaning of while learning. Then you may not be able to understand fully the text.

6) Make sure that if you are learning a text from two or more generations ago that either you or your chavrusa have decent knowledge of roshei teivot. Otherwise, you'll need to send a text to Bar Ilan, or call a rav...or spend ten minutes guessing, probably not getting it right, and even if you do, not knowing that you did.

7) V'chol hashvivin chavivin. V'lo kol hachavivin sh'vi'in. So, make sure that your learning is done not by rote, but with koach. Also make sure that you discuss maaseh merkava in the middle, for, as you all know, this is the most important part of all learning in both nigleh and chassidus. Also make sure that you read between the lines, since the chachamim, assuming that we're all mevinim, did not write everything that we think is necessary, and were sparing on words. Obviously, they did not live in this generation, where the knowledge is so sparse that every other person feels a need to write a book for those less educated. Of course, the fact that so many people write books does not mean that all of them deserve consideration when it comes to your learning seder.

Hard C, Soft C, What Do You See?

2009-10-09T01:53:00.003+02:00

A "c" or "g" is "soft" if it is followed by the letters "e", "i", or "y". For example: cylinder, circular, cereal; giant, gypsy, gentle.

A "c" or "g" is "hard" if it is followed by any other letter...or a space. For example: domestic, cough, canteen, curator; guest, goblin, gate, guitar.

Soft "c" sounds like "s"; hard "c" sounds like "k". Likewise, soft "g" sounds like "j"; hard "g" sounds like "g".

When a letter should be "soft", but we want it to be "hard", we add a letter. Words such as: outrigger, guest, chord. For a "c", we generally add an "h"; for a "g" we add a "u". Sometimes, instead of either of these, we double the problematic letter of "c" or "g", whichever the case may be. Obviously, there are exceptions to every rule. But the above is an English rule, and therefore the exceptions will be common, and may often create the rule instead of the other way around. And that, my friends, is today's grammar lesson. Next lesson: Perhaps modals. But give me another subject, and I shall gladly substitute.

Moadim lsimcha!

P.S.- At least this is better than Wuthering Heights. I never was one for romance novels- that must be why it was so boring. Science fiction, anyone?

Wuthering Heights

2009-10-06T18:41:00.006+02:00

The [boring] storyline basically goes like this:

Catherine1 and Hindley are brother and sister; Heathcliff is their adopted brother, about the same age as Catherine1. Catherine1 and Heathcliff are partners in mischief, get in trouble, and love each other, Hindley despises Heathcliff and degrades him. Edgar decides he wants to marry Catherine1, and against her better judgement, she marries him. Heathcliff is broken-hearted. Hindley marries a nasty girl; she dies in childbirth, giving birth to a son, named Hareton. Catherine1 and Edgar are happy, but she also dies in childbirth, giving birth to a daughter, Catherine2. Before Catherine1 and Edgar marry, Heathcliff leaves, and is gone for three years, before he returns to the Heights. When he gets there, he visits Catherine1 and Edgar, and is present when she loses consciousness for the last time, just before giving birth. Obviously, he and Edgar are sworn enemies. Heathcliff also gains control- legally- of all of Hindley's wealth, and thus retains that control for the remainder of the story, rendering all descendants of Catherine1 and Hindley (brother and sister) dependent on him, as their master.

Heathcliff marries Edgar's sister Isabella, and both are miserable. Isabella runs away, and a few months later gives birth to Heathcliff's son, Linton, who is a 'sickly, peevish child' [sic]. Isabella lives until Linton is twelve, at which point she dies (duh!), and calls Edgar to take her child and be with her when she dies. Edgar does so, and brings Linton, who is six months younger than Catherine2, home. He stays there for one night, until he is forced to go back to live with his father, Heathcliff.

Heathcliff has an idea that for the purposes of inheritance and making his enemies suffer, his sickly son, Linton, must marry Catherine2. He sets it up so that they have the opportunity to fall in love, which they do. Edgar Linton falls ill, and Heathcliff insists that Catherine2 not leave his home until she is married to Linton. She marries him, and escapes back home in time for her father and her to have one last meeting, while he is on the deathbed. She mourns. She is fetched back to her husband and father-in-law, and forced to take care of her husband for about a week, until his death. Though she did love him, she was forced into marriage, and afterwards, when her father-in-law and husband revealed their tyrannical natures, is miserable. After his death, she is kept as a ward who must earn her keep. Hareton, her other cousin, who also lives with them, is brutal to her face and defends her behind her back. He is also illiterate, which causes her to scorn him.

Eventually, Catherine2 teaches Hareton how to read, and they fall in love. Heathcliff dies, and then they marry a few months later. Heathcliff is buried next to his true love, Catherine1, who lies beside her husband. The side of her coffin and his are open, so that the bodies may disintegrate together. (I assume her husband lies on her other side.) With Heathcliff's death, the property transfers back to its rightful owner- namely, Hareton, Hindley's heir, and since Catherine2 is his wife, they both are rich, and live happily ever after, deserting the house which held so many awful memories.

Yippee! Was that interesting? No. It was well-written, but pointless and boring. However, now I can sign the paper attesting to the fact that I read the book, in its entirety, in English, answer the essay question, and be done.
Whoopee-do....

Fortunately, since this was my fifth book out of fifteen, I only have ten more left until I'm done. One of them, Billy Budd, seems pretty benign, even though it's even more boring than this and written in incomprehensible Old British English. At least it's only 70 pages...

WorryWart

2009-10-05T19:04:00.000+02:00

Why do I still worry about everyone I've helped or tried to help, from the first few that I helped at sixteen or so, to the ones I helped yesterday?
And I'm nuts- why do I still try to keep contact? I don't know. I must be a Polish Jewish Mother- except I'm not.

Yippee!

2009-10-03T22:40:00.001+02:00

I love getting an extra day plus some, while all galus-bound Jews celebrate Y"T sheini shel galuyot. Like, Sunday being a workday is good....motzei Shabbat that we end around eight or nine hours before anyone in America is also good...an extra day to do whatever I want to do and can do, while all of American Jewry has its hands tied, gives me a good head start. And I'm one who likes to feel ahead of everyone else.

Yippee! The only bummer is that I can't write normally with a pen for the next week. [boohoo]

It's Supposed To Be This Way

2009-10-02T03:04:00.003+02:00

....but is it? So many times, I hear people telling me that I shouldn't worry, that it's supposed to be like this, that this is the result we wanted, and that this is what the Rebbe wanted. It's a normal, healthy, praiseworthy, good thing, and those who do so should be praised. They want to succeed, they want to do the right thing- this is good. Perhaps it is good. Perhaps they do want to do the right thing. But they are doing it the wrong way; they are doing the wrong thing. And anyone with half a brain can easily see that.

At this point, I must point out that I am speaking of the problems that befall our community in general, since, as I see it, this applies to all of them in greater or lesser measures. It is not meant to be taken as connected to your life or mine, unless, of course, you are part of the problem instead of being part of the solution. To continue:

This IS the normal thing, to be sure. This IS what we raised, this is what we sowed, what we hoped for. But now, it should NOT be normal. Because it should never have reached this point. And once it did, since reaching this point now is the natural path, as well as the easiest path, for it to take, the problem should have been recognized and prevented. Yes, it is being prevented by default. But when that default ends, then what? The problem must be solved, at its root. Or else a non-default situation must be avoided. And that's that. Too many people follow the herd instead of using their heads. And too many people fear others instead of fearing G-d. These two statements, I believe, are our problem. And what we are seeing are the symptoms. Yes, this is good, for certain people, for certain members of the community. But NOT for the community as a whole.

As to solving the problem* at its root: The root is not the situation at this point. The root is why the situation developed as such until now. Because, at the root of all problems, is a lack of yirat Shamayim. And that, my friends, is what needs to be solved. Not the symptoms, the problem. Solving symptoms is temporary and superficial. The real problem must be solved. And that problem...is a lack of yirat Shamayim.

To my readers: Chag sameach!

*Now: As to the question of what is this problem. Think about cheating (wants to do well), tznius (copies role models provided), not davening on time (same, as well as wanting to learn), shlichus by those who shouldn't be doing it (peer pressure, that's what they see as an honorable occupation), and any other problems that your community has.

Chabad Books....

2009-09-24T15:36:00.008+03:00

Every other person writes a book. Every third person publishes his book. And there are books on every topic, written by people from every walk of life, from every path in Judaism. And yet, we're still missing a few.

Like..a gloss for the Ramba"m, so the ignoramuses don't get confused. (This is being written as we speak...)

...a KS"A that leaves out all the chumrot, and just sums up the S"A. (This is also in the process of being written.)

...a booklet on the importance of avodat hatefilla, which is an integral part of being a chassid and yet overlooked.

...a quality book on shalom bayit, written from a Chabad perspective. (Not being written yet, AFAIK, and every other path seems to have its own book or few of them.)

...a Chabad book that emphasizes something that Breslov pays attention to and Chabad doesn't. (Not yet in the process, if you'd like to take the job..)

...a book for boys like the Purple Book we give to girls.

...a thorough curriculum guide to give to chosson/kallah teachers, since everyone always complains about the incomplete education that today's couples are getting.

...a version of the KS"A that I don't have to worry about my kids reading.

...a guide for teachers' colleges on who to pick and what questions to ask, so as to weed out those who want to teach, for its own sake, from those who don't have anything else to do or were pressured into teaching.

...a guide for the Chabad businessman, who is often overlooked, on how to keep a proper level in ruchnius.

...oh, and for Y's sake, I'll add that he thinks there should be a book on tznius written by a woman. (He also wants me to write it, but we'll see what happens...)

Um...

2009-09-21T17:43:00.004+03:00

I'd heard (from Bad4, actually) about the guy who proposed during a Nefesh B'Nefesh ceremony...

And now I just watched the video. But wait....isn't that kiddushin vadai? I hope she knows it...

True that the ring has a stone in it and probably isn't solid gold, but saying "Will you marry me?" in front of a crowd and then putting the ring on her finger....is definitely kiddushin. Looks like they did it a bit earlier than intended...

Oh well. Isn't that what they used to do anyways? They'll just do nisuin at the chuppa, I guess. Well...that is...if they know the halacha.

Meme: Superpowers

2009-09-17T16:51:00.007+03:00

Rule number one: Read the rules.
Rule number two: Write one superpower you would like to have and what you would do with it.
Rule number three: Write why you chose that superpower over everything else.
Rule number four: Tag and link 7 people and write why you think they will have an interesting meme.
Rule number five: Fix your broken links.

I don't usually do memes, but out of courtesy to my friend Altie, who tagged me, I'll do it this once. ;) Okay, here goes.

If I could have one choice of superpower, it would be "Powerful Knowledge Radar". This is the knowledge of knowing exactly who is plotting to kill a Jew, and if a [non-Jew] person plots to kill a Jew, or to hurt a Jew, I would automatically know and send out radar. As a reaction to this radar, the person plotting would either die, or become paralyzed and mute until he decided to be a true friend of all Jews. Any objects that were going to be used as tools of destruction would automatically either dissolve into thin air or shatter into a billion little pieces, causing no one any harm except for those who were planning on using them.

Included in this title of "plotting" are those planning the Road Map and pushing Israel to do a construction freeze. Also included are all terrorists and terrorist wannabes, and Iran and its nuclear weapons. Not included are Bibi and all Jews in his government. Any Arab MKs are included.

I chose this superpower over all others because I think that once people realize that hurting Jews doesn't pay, they'll stop doing it. I want Jews to be safe, and for there to be a strong government and no stupidity. Obviously, Moshiach is the best way to go about it, but he seems to be a bit late- he should've arrived a while ago...

Okay, now I need seven people to tag. Here goes:

NOT tagged is LF (even though I thought of tagging him first), because I'd rather ask LF to do something more valuable with his time. Vda"l.
Now, for the seven I AM tagging....

BOSD, because she's funny, has a unique perspective, and is a good writer, and it will be interesting to see what she chooses.

Admou"r Creedmoor, because I'm interested in seeing what superpowers he has and still wants.

Sabra, because she has very definite opinions on a lot of things, and writes well but cryptically. It'll be interesting to see what comes out.

NMF#7, because she writes well and always has an interesting perspective to put on life.

BasMelech, because I'm a silent reader of her blog and enjoy it, and she'll probably have something interesting to say.

le7, because she's stopped posting so much, but when she does post, it's usually high quality.

Tzig, because he always has a new, interesting perspective and writes well enough to keep me interested in reading.

That's it...have fun, chosen ones.

Cellcom Shalom

2009-09-16T12:07:00.002+03:00

I got a text message yesterday from Cellcom.

איחולי שנה טובה והגשמת משאלות לבכם, להנאתכם שיר תפילה במתנה מאת
.האמן גלעד שגב, לקבלת השיר הכנסו לאתר סלקום, להסרה *795

It's one of those, "This would only happen in Israel" moments, where I know that even as companies do this for business, the very nusach of he text message, and its contents, prove undeniably that Israel is very much a Jewish country. Even though I know that many of the people who work for the company aren't religious, I also know that they care, and probably celebrate Rosh Hashana in some way. Only in Israel... :)

The Chill Zone

2009-09-14T14:45:00.002+03:00

While I myself stay away from online videos, for those who are fans of YouTube, you may want to substitute The Chill Zone, from Arutz Sheva. The Chill Zone was started in order to provide appropriate videos without any inappropriate pictures, whether in the videos or off to the side. In that sense, it accomplishes its purpose, and is now widely watched, even by children.

Again: I do not watch videos in any case, but if you're addicted to YouTube, you may find this a more kosher alternative.

Ktiva vchatima tova...

"Obamacare", "Peace Process", "Roadmap"

2009-09-14T14:12:00.005+03:00

OBAMA....BIN....LADEN!

Yemach shmo vzichro laad, Islamic-Arab terrorist accomplice that he is.

Pidyon Shvuyim

2009-09-13T03:48:00.003+03:00

Click here.

Info to donate online:

Paypal Account: ezratisraelinc@gmail.com, subject line "pidyon shvuyim".

Ktiva vchatima tova...

Computer Segula

2009-09-11T03:51:00.002+03:00

Restarting your computer after working on it for about ten hours straight is a segula for speeding it up and having it freeze less. Go ahead, try it!

They're Missing The Point...

2009-09-10T19:06:00.003+03:00

Take a look at the argument here. I, personally, think that all these people are missing the point. #21 and #38, who are being continuously bashed, have a very strong point, but they still lack the ikar. And the ikar, in my opinion, is this: Most girls (note my use of the word "most") look just as pretty- or more pretty- without makeup. The idea that one has to put on a face full of makeup (ichs, that feels gross) in order to be beautiful is bichlal a Western idea. True that there have been mentions of makeup in the gemara, but they also didn't completely cover their faces with the stuff, either.

There are those few girls who, without makeup, look like they're about to faint. There are also some girls who can only be made to look decent when they're wearing makeup. But those girls are few and far between, and besides, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Western culture has no right to dictate what the meaning of beauty is, especially for Jews.

So argue all you like- you're all on the same page, the one that says: "Makeup=beauty". Chassidishe hanhaga not to wear it or not, you still think that makeup makes a person beautiful. That's dumb. You know why? Here's why:

First you put on foundation, and cover up all your natural, healthy color, with some paste that came out of a factory and is full of stuff you never want to know of. Then you put on some powder and smooth your skin out. Then you have to return the color to your face, and put blush on your cheeks in a very definite line, highlighting whatever cheekbones you may or may not have. Then you put these weird colors on your eyelids, so people wonder how you would look without painting your face. Then you put on mascara, so that your eyelashes are all clumpy. Then you put on lipstick, which stays until it wears off, and gets smudged. And THEN you think you're beautiful?! Why, because you look like a photoshopped lady in a magazine?! What kind of stupid Western mentality have you adopted?!

Now, it's true that SOME people may benefit from the use of SOME of these items...but you don't need ALL of them! And it's a Western mentality that makes you think that without ANY of it, you're ugly. (Now, if I think I'm ugly anyways, but don't care and don't care for makeup, does that make me stupid? Maybe so. But at least I'm being stupid by myself, and not following the lead of this misguided, magazine-led culture. And maybe I don't think I'm ugly, and I don't think most others are, either....)

Hocking Me a Chainik (or Breaking Stereotypes), Part I

2009-09-08T18:55:00.007+03:00

These are pieces of advice and criticism collected over the past three or four years. I'm doing my job and passing them on to any other poor girl who lacks the important knowledge found in these quotes.

-"You know, bochurim want to marry a woman, not a chavrusa. Don't farher him on a date..."

-"You know, men need to know that their wives dress nicely. If you're at a simcha, then you need to dress up. He shouldn't look around and see how everyone else looks nice and his wife looks like a shlump..."

-"Bochurim want to marry a girl, not another bochur. If you want to get married, you have to stop being a bochur..."

-"I feel bad for your students. They'll be saying, 'Miss X, can we learn now? Please?' and you'll just be standing there cracking up."

-"You have to dress up for a date..."

-"You should use hairspray, it'll get rid of the frizz."

To be continued...

Shidduchim

2009-09-06T14:04:00.001+03:00

If you're looking for a shidduch, email The Shadchan:
mayimchayim18@gmail.com

Only serious inquiries will be considered.

Not, Are!

2009-09-06T12:56:00.007+03:00

[excerpt from a conversation last night]

.....

"Wow. You're such a [insert compliment]."

"I am NOT."

"You are."

"I'm NOT. Just because I do something once or twice doesn't make me a t--------."

"But you are anyways."

"I'm NOT."

"You ARE."

"No, I'm NOT."

"Yes, you ARE."

"NUH-uh!"

"Yes-HUH!"

[the thought goes through my mind that we sound like a couple of two-year olds...]

"NO."

"YES."

"NO!."

"YES!

"NO!"

"Okay, Chana, I have to go to sleep if I'm going to get up in the morning, but before I hang up, I'll just say it one more time, so that you can't argue back. You ARE."

"I'm NOT." [said quickly so as to get in the last word]

"You ARE. And that's the end of it."

"No, I'm NOT. And you know it."

"ARE!"

"NOT!"

"You are! And I'm hanging up now, ok?"

"Okay. But I'm NOT!"

[click]

I feel quite victorious, but slightly disappointed that my opposition didn't see fit to contradict me one last time...* And with that, I go back to sleep, since I have only a few hours left until I start my day...

About three minutes later: [beep beep. beep beep] I get a text message. This text message reads as follows: "You are a very t----- c---------- t-------- and now you can't argue so I win! I ---- ---!"

Now, that's not fair! Maybe I should find a way to text back from my gmail...meh, I'll do it in the morning! Part of me is fuming mad at being the victim of such underhanded techniques, since the opposition knows that my phone can't return that text. Part of me is glad that the "therefore, they don't care" was proven untrue within three minutes, in a way that leaves me stuck with their message, by the clever, amusing mind who insists on telling me things that aren't true.

Ah, well...such is life.

*Translation: doesn't care (:D), since of course, nobody cares. Never mind that the opposition just spent nearly ten minutes contradicting me, insisting that I was a [insert untrue compliment], while I insisted I was not. But the click, when I'm already so upset about everything else, "obviously" means that they don't really care...

To Ask a Question

2009-09-01T19:18:00.005+03:00

M said to ask a mashpia. I chose instead to ask Rav L, who I think doubles as a mashpia, though he's not my own. M doesn't like that rav, and doesn't respect him. She instead chose to ask Rav S, whom she usually goes to with questions.

That's nice for her, but the question isn't hers- its ours. We asked one rav already, and intend to abide by what he said. We decided to listen to him, not knowing what he would say. But no, M has to ask Rav S. I know that from the way she'll phrase it, Rav S will say what she wants to hear. I am right. When Y spoke to Rav S, the rav came to the same conclusion that Rav L came to. But now that M is speaking to Rav S, the rav suddenly changed his mind. M offers to ask Rav S to call Rav L "and convince him of his position". No, I don't want Rav S to call Rav L in order to convince him. I want them to speak and come to a mutual conclusion.

Well, Rav L called Rav S. Rav S was in shul. Rav L left a message with Rebbetzin S, and left a message on the answering machine for Rav S. Rav L went to do something, and came back too late to call again. M calls me, saying that Rav S didn't get a phone call. I explain what happened; she doesn't believe me. Y calls Rav L, who asks to be texted the phone number. I call, "not knowing" that Y spoke to Rav L, in order to fill in the details. Rav L agrees to call again, at the new number.

Apparently, Rav L called Rav S immediately after hanging up with me. Also apparently, M gave the story over with no detail, and sounding like it was some kind of hefker issue that hadn't been handled appropriately. When Rav L gave the details, Rav S agreed with him wholeheartedly.

Now, all that remains is for Rav S to call M, since he is the only one who can convince her of the rightness of this opinion. So, that's what we're waiting for. Hopefully Rav S will call M soon.

It all depends on how you ask....and therefore, one must know how to ask the question. And never ask more than one rav.

If M wanted to ask her rav, she could've asked us if we would abide by what he says. But to tell me to ask someone, and then decide that you don't like them or their psak...that's rabbi-shopping, and we don't do that. If lchatchila, M doesn't want me asking, that's fine. But once I've asked, we're not going to change our minds...unless the outcome of the discussion between Rav S and Rav L warrants it....which, in the end, it didn't. Instead, M's opinion will have to change. But honestly, I don't like asking Rav S questions; I feel like I'm intruding. With Rav L, on the other hand, I feel like he takes me seriously, and is actually listening. So, I'd rather ask Rav L.

I guess I am logical, after all....
But did I really want to be right in this case? Some...but maybe I would've rather been wrong...

Kartoshka

2009-08-31T08:14:00.003+03:00

[organizer] "Okay, everybody, smile! Wait, what's that word they say when they want you to look nice?"

[someone off to the side] "Cheese?"

[me] "Everybody, say 'kartoshka*'!"

That was a baaad move. I should've known that by saying ANY Russian word, but especially "kartoshka", I would hear one of three kids say the inevitable next word. Why did I say "kartoshka"? Um..because I was kind of hyper, and it was a nice word to say? Trust me, if I'd taken a minute to think about what usually comes next, I wouldn't have said it.

Well, my mistake. Here's what happened, from the beginning:

(kid, the older one, is a girl; kid2, who is younger, is a boy)

[organizer] "Okay, everybody, smile! Wait, what's that word they say when they want you to look nice?"

[someone off to the side] "Cheese?"

[me] "Everybody, say 'kartoshka'!"

[kid] "Say 'brizanya*'!"

[kid2] "Everybody, say, 'brizanya'!"

[me] "Nooooo, kiddos, that's not a word you say for a picture!"

[kid] [kid2] "Yechetchu* brizanya!"

Gee, thanks N., for teaching these kids such useful Russian words....so that your little sister can let everyone know exactly what she wants when we're trying to take pictures, at an event, with guests.

Oh, and can someone please inform me of the connection between "kartoshka" and "brizanya"?

*kartoshka=potato; brizanya=bris mila; yechetchu=I want

But....

2009-08-31T03:19:00.002+03:00

The Rebbe cares about you.....you know that....what would he think? Not in an attempt to guilt you..but just, to make you think about what you're doing. Think. Please. Remember who you are. Please...

You don't have to marry if you don't want to. But please, please stay with us. Please.

Lesson To Self

2009-08-30T12:42:00.002+03:00

Lesson to self: Don't have a boy in the summer. Make sure that any kid born in the summer is a girl. Preferably, avoid summer birthdays whatsoever- they're a pain in the neck.

Hm...think it'll work?

Haha!

2009-08-30T10:33:00.004+03:00

I found them, B"H.....I knew I'd put them in the same place...but everywhere that logical me usually puts them, didn't have them. Suddenly....I think that maybe I put them in that plastic bag....B"H....

Oy vey. That'll teach me a lesson....or two.

A) Put things where you usually do.

B) Don't freak out..

C) Check the first illogical place that comes to mind, and don't push it off in order to check the more logical places.

HELP!!!!!!!!

2009-08-30T10:31:00.001+03:00

I can't find my removable disk.....not the 2 gig, and not the four gig...and the four gig is new, and now has all the files that I can't lose...help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, who would've thought that I'd be going nuts over these things?!

Vote Plus

2009-08-27T22:38:00.003+03:00

Altie made a poll on her blog...
Now you can go vote, give her some more hits, and read some of her stuff while you're at it. ;)

Polluted Air

2009-08-26T22:14:00.001+03:00

Read this (from ASJ).

Assumptions

2009-08-26T20:43:00.001+03:00

Funny, how nowadays it surprises me less and less that people assume I was always Chabad....it used to be a shock; now it's not.

Oh...ARG!

2009-08-24T11:24:00.002+03:00

Why do I ask questions, of people that I have to listen to, and who will question the time spent asking, if I don't want to hear the answers? If I know what I want to do....why don't I do it? Why did I even ask?

Oh, stupid me...

But now I'm committed...or am I? Maybe I should change my mind, after all. But can I? And is that even smart? Oh...why did I ever ask? And why did I get into this in the first place?

No, don't answer. I don't want to hear the answer. For once, I'll be smart. Just once.

Oh, you...website, parasite!

2009-08-21T17:52:00.003+03:00

I don't want to lose weight, I'm looking for a calorie counter so that I can find out if I eat 2,000 calories a day, or if I need to be eating more! You stupid thing...

I wanted to know if the value on this vitamin bottle meant that it was 139% of what I needed*, or if I needed more. I didn't want to know how I could lose double the weight in less time! I already lost all the weight that I ever wanted to (and I did want to, but didn't care enough to bother doing anything about it), and I did it unconsciously. If I lose any more, I think I'll be forced to keep up my weight with cookies and other sugar-loaded foods that don't have any nutritional value and cause headaches when the sugar runs out.

I wanted to count the calories I'm eating just so I can see what the approximate daily value is...not so I could lose weight...now, do you have a calorie counter, or not?

*% Daily Value based on a 2,000 calorie diet.

Is This Too Tight?

2009-08-20T09:30:00.003+03:00

Long ago, my younger sister gave me a shirt for Shabbat that didn't fit her anymore. So I looked at it and said, "Okay, let's see if it fits." Being that I'm too conservative and too lazy to try on a new shirt (after all, why put something on, just to take it off again and replace it, when you can just put something else on and keep it on?), it sat there for a long time- as in, two years or so. Then, when I was packing for a trip, I figured, "Hey, why not? I need another shirt, and this does the job. And if it doesn't fit, I have a sweater I can wear."

It turns out that I wasn't comfortable wearing that sweater in the community I traveled to. I'm not sure why I wasn't comfortable, but I don't usually argue with my gut. So out came the new shirt, which needs a layer underneath (something I do anyways). I showered and tried it on. It looked a bit...small. Not so much that it was obviously not tznius, but borderline. Thing is..nobody around me would have said that it wasn't ok. Most of my family, as well as the one I was with, thinks I'm too fanatic when it comes to these things. So...I looked at myself in the mirror, and debated taking it off. But as my other option wasn't as nice, it didn't really appeal to me, and so I was reluctant to do so. And so I debate for a minute...and call the only person around who I know will let me know- somehow or other- that the shirt is not okay. Because something in me says that it's not, but on the other hand, it could just be the style, since I'm not used to it. But do I really want to be used to it? I wasn't sure, but I did know that I needed an extra push if I was going to change.

And so, I did something that I'd never, ever done before, and that I'd never thought I'd do. But I bet you can't guess what it is.....

Submissions

2009-08-17T08:37:00.004+03:00

Well, after a long, lengthy post that touched on a topic that I don't feel like blabbing shtuyot about ....here is what I wanted to say originally. Now...how did I come up with these words, which still seem so right...four months ago? But more than that....where did my understanding of this come from? And why don't I have an issue voicing an opinion on this subject-- which I previously considered taboo (and still do)?

Note: The material below is copyrighted.

Question:What's the issue with talking a little with boys? Like for instance a boy that used to b in my class just friend requested me on facebook. i totally do not have any sort of interest in him besides that he was in my class. i dt have a crush on him or anything like that. so what is wrong with being friends with someone like that?

Answer: Technically, it would seem that you're correct. You're classmates, you're friends, and there's nothing there besides that.

The only thing is, girls and boys are different. Because of this difference, the two look for different things in a friendship, and although a girl may not have any feelings towards a boy, the same may not be true of him. Even if he isn't about to ask you to marry him, if the two become close, they may end up wanting to marry two or three years down the road. In the meantime, it will be very hard for both of them to just maintain a casual friendship, especially if they are committed to shomer negia.

Another thing to take into consideration is that talking with boys, even in a neutral setting such as a classroom, never remains neutral. This is because each fills an emotional need of the other, completely unconsciously. Also, the more you have friends of the opposite gender, the less special it will be talking to your spouse.

These ideas are not mine; they are age-old ideas from our chachamim.
That said, you are still allowed to have questions, and a situation such as yours definitely is not the norm. I hope I answered your question somewhat, and if you still have issues, feel free to email me back.

5 Years

2009-08-11T07:39:00.005+03:00

A kid I know has been making eyes at her friend's big brother (3 years her senior) for about five or six years. That's a long time for a kid. You see her demeanor change when he's around, and yet, since it isn't two ways, I'd say he's completely oblivious. Funny thing is, they're both frum (Chabad, too), and it started at so young an age everyone figured it was a passing phase. Her mother was the first to have the guts to say anything about it. Certainly, when I left, I did not expect it to be still going on when I got back. But it makes me wonder what will be in another eight years. Will she have gotten over it by then, or find some way to get suggested as a shidduch? Now, that would be funny. A story like, "Oh, the families have known each other for years...she's his younger sister's best friend and hung out at his house all the time when they were kids. But they haven't seen each other since he left to high school, so...." I wonder....and only G-d knows. Sure is funny, though.

Odd One Out

2009-08-10T08:23:00.002+03:00

Why does it seem that I'm pretty much the only one in my family who has never sleeptalked? (When I was little, I wanted so much to be "grown-up" and sleeptalk like Mommy that I tried to get myself to do it, tried faking it, etc...never worked, though. Faking it just isn't the same.)

I must be weird. Why do people sleeptalk?

Three In A Day

2009-08-09T12:49:00.003+03:00

...and I thought it was old news already.

I guess the grapevine fell short...or perhaps it's never old news. It's okay, I accept good wishes and brachos anytime...

At First Glance

2009-08-09T10:55:00.002+03:00

At first glance, what does this word say? Don't look twice, just go by your first impulse. (And let me know, I'm curious.)

Dress Modestly

2009-08-07T02:40:00.000+03:00

This, if I have my way, is going on all the wedding invitations sent to frum people. (It has to be ALL frum people so that no one feels singled out. Those who like it will use it themselves, those who don't like it will wear what was requested and kvetch. They aren't my friends, anyways...) Why? Because there are going to be a LOT of not-yet-frum Jews at the wedding, and I'd like them to see how frum Jews dress. NOT how "frum" Jews- aka models- dress.
Those who aren't frum will probably dress appropriately, anyways. And if they don't- fine by me. But the frum people had better be dressed approrpiately.

I just need to find a clean sign that has English translation- either on the web or to photograph myself.

So I'm a bit eccentric. So what? He is, too.

If I Won the Lottery...

2009-08-07T02:39:00.000+03:00

...then I'd learn in kollel for 20 years.
...but I would put away some savings for my kids' education and use some of it to adopt a couple kids with disabilities and give a lot of it to Yad L'Achim and buy an ap't in Yerushalayim and use a lot of it to fund building plans in Yehuda and Shomron and I'd find a Chabad institution with no politics and no big people or names and give a lot of it to them...and start a school for gifted kids and get my second and third degrees and then in my breaks learn smicha (because I don't really have to work for money anymore, since I won the lottery), and invest some of it when the market rises again- or perhaps now, davka because it's so low...and...oh, I don't know. Not that it matters, because I've never bought a ticket and don't plan on doing so.

What would you do with the money if you won the lottery?

Question

2009-08-07T02:34:00.006+03:00

If C+B=D, then why does the result of C+B give you either C or B? And if you say that the act of D is the result of C+B, then how do you get either a C or a B from that D? D was supposed to be a result of C+B, not what creates C or B (and sometimes both at once).

Moshiach NOW!

2009-08-07T01:01:00.003+03:00

When you say, "Moshiach NOW!", do you really understand what you're saying? Do you understand what the meaning is, what Moshiach entails? Are you ready for that? Do you really mean what you say?

I'm not asking if you really want Moshiach. I'm asking if you understand the full meaning of saying that you do want him. I'm asking if you really know what Moshiach is, who he is.
Because, for all I've learned, I don't know what it really means. Do you?

Oof!

2009-08-06T05:54:00.001+03:00

The Nefesh b'Nefesh thingy isn't working. Why can't we jsut do it by hand?
Oof, oof, oof! I hate the computer and he hates me!

Humph

2009-08-05T21:22:00.002+03:00

If our original plans hadn't been messed up by [insert names of two people], we'd have had the wedding last night.
Humph.

Request

2009-08-05T19:27:00.000+03:00

For those of you who read my blog silently, or read my blog and comment, here is a request:

I am well aware that in many posts I write, "that's a topic for another post; remind me". I am also aware that there are topics I have not yet thought of writing about.

So please- if you saw a post that said, "that's for another post", and want to see that "other post" written; if you have an idea for a post that you'd like to see; if you think I should revisit a post and edit it; if there was a reference to something that you'd like clarified- and any other anything you're interested in....write it in the comments and let me know.

Yes, even you silent readers, of whom I'm sure I have quite a few.

Purple Book, Green Book?

2009-08-05T19:26:00.005+03:00

Little sister comes over and says, "Look, Chanie! Mummy gave me this book, and I already read the whole thing." Yep, I can see that. The binding is quite worn- much more than it was after sister number one read it. (I read the book at 16, just for curiosity's sake. I was too old by the time my parents bought it for it to be of much use to me.)
(Apparently, Little sister can read through one of the old Nancy Drew books in about three hours. She must read as fast as I do. And she needs more of the ND books- because she just finished the last one. I guess until she gets more, she'll have to read the ones she has over again. At least it's not BSC...)

But my mother handed her the Purple Book a few months ago. It's actually quite a good educational tool. A book says, "Here's what you need to know; I'm open to discussion and I won't treat the topic as taboo." Someone should write a Blue Book or a Green Book for boys. See, boys also go through puberty, but unlike with girls, most don't get warned. Girls usually end up having some kind of talk with their mother. But boys- eh, there's not so many changes...they'll have fuzz on their upper lip, grow a beard, get a deeper voice...who cares?

Apparently, it's not "Who cares?", because it has a detrimental effect on the boys when their issues are ignored and considered taboo. Some kids want to know if their beard will stop itching, and some kids have tougher questions. Luckily enough, I'm not a boy, so I never had these questions and others. And what's a widowed or divorced mother (ch"v, l"a), to do, when she never was a male and never went through puberty as one? And at what age should her son expect it? Did she ever bother asking her husband when he hit puberty? Probably not. But her son needs to know, because that's the age it'll probably hit him.

Whatever. Someone needs to write the book. Anyone male who wants to volunteer?

ARG!

2009-08-05T19:19:00.002+03:00

This post looks like it could have been written by someone else. That someone else's writing style is not as eloquent as my own, and that someone else has much worse sentence structure, spelling, and grammar than myself. And it's starting to have an influence on my own writing.

Look, speech similarities that started to grow- b'meila, and anyways, they're not so bad. But the writing influence, I was hoping would have gone in the opposite direction.

Oof. You know, if that influence were anywhere else in my life, I'd be quite happy. Why davka in one of my better areas?

Uh...uh....Yipes!

2009-08-05T04:00:00.004+03:00

I'm scared. No, I'm freaked out. No, I'm nervous. Oh, whatever.
And for once, it isn't because I was just walking a stone's throw away from a tractor. (Tractors are for a different post, remind me.) Last time it was a tractor. My mother thinks I'm nuts because I run from the things. That is weird, knowing me, because I'm [usually] not afraid of anything. But now it's not a tractor I'm scared of, because there isn't one in my line of vision at the moment, b"H. I'm still scared, though.

Walls

2009-08-04T21:52:00.003+03:00

Is the wall so high that I can't see out? Or was the height a request, and not a fact yet? And besides, after losing sight of the building for so many months, and not even giving it a thought in as long....is it still even there? Perhaps it went on without me. Perhaps it continued subconsciously. But....does it matter? It does. It does. But is it there still? Does it have vines growing over it, loosening the stones? (Does it have a garden inside with a bent branch to sit on? Does it have a key buried in the earth near the door? Do I even know where it is? [Is it a classic book? JK..]) And why am I at a loss? Perhaps if I listen quietly, I'll know. But is that true? And at any rate...I have work to do.
Oh, well. Enough speculating for one day.

Will the wall be done before the rakevet hakalah is finished? Will it ever be done? Or does it need constant work? And why am I such a conundrum to almost everyone I meet?

No, Yes

2009-07-31T06:42:00.002+03:00

No, we didn't plan it. Yes, it was spontaneous.
No, we didn't discuss it beforehand. Yes, I know the reactions are uncannily similar.

My, do I like shocking people with the similarities in thinking.
Then again, I keep finding odd similarities here and there that shock even myself. For example:
*I carry my chitas with me practically everywhere. Don't ask me why. I just do. Turn a chitas into just a siddur...and you have the same thing.
*I don't know many Lubavitchers who have read the Chronicles of Narnia as many times as I have. Though I don't read it anymore [it drips of xtianity, once you look at it], I guess I'm not the only Chabadnik to have memorized lines from there.
*My sister asked me a question a while ago, and I told her an answer in someone else's name. When I subsequently told that person what had happened, the first - ie, gut- response I got was nearly word-for-word what I had said.

As they say, great minds think alike.

Wait- so does that mean I can pasken instead of Rabbi L.? I mean...I usually say approximately what he will, only earlier- even before he finds out about the issues.

Just Interesting..

2009-07-31T02:16:00.004+03:00

An interesting link. It's probably interesting because it deals with biological reactions. After all, even the fact that mice have [you don't want to know what, but you may have seen what I'm thinking of] is interesting. What's also interesting is how chamelions change color and atomic bombs are produced and....sheesh, I should've gone into science.
Too bad- maybe later.

But the link is also interesting because it's written by Gila Manolson, on a topic that I have talked about to countless people. So read it. For whatever reason.

My Favorite Thing

2009-07-30T20:46:00.003+03:00

Walking back from shul after Eicha...

Kid: Chana, guess what my favorite thing is?
Me: I don't know...what is it?
Kid: I'm not telling you...
Me: Well, give me a hint.
Kid: Nope.
Me: Well, then, I guess I'm not going to guess....
Kid: Well, ok. It's a three-letter word.
Me: [thinking...and trying not to laugh inwardly, but it's a bit difficult] Um....Leg[o]?
Kid: Nope.
Me: Car[s]?
Kid: Nope.
Me: Give me another hint...
Kid: Ok, it ends in "n".
Me: [inward sigh of relief...] Fun?
Kid: Nope.
Me: Ben? [a friend]
Kid: Nope...
[repeat a few times]
Me: Okay, nu?
Kid: It has something to do with arcades.
Me: I have no idea...
[insert guesses and negative answers]
Kid: Okay, it ends with "un".
Me: Bun, cun, dun, fun, gun....
Kid: Yep, you just said it!
Me: Gun?
Kid: Yeah, that's another of my favorite things, is guns.

Nu....

Amei Ha'aretz

2009-07-30T20:39:00.006+03:00

I walk in for Eicha yesterday, and see two women who know my mother and think they know me.

Woman 1: Hi, how are you?
Me: Erm....[what do I say? learn halacha?] How are you?
Woman 1: Thank G-d. You came to visit?
Me: Yeah.
Woman 1: Oh, how nice.
Me: [nods]

A second later, woman 2 makes the same dumb mistake.
Woman 2: Hi! How are you doing?
Me: [rolls eyes, even tho it's not nice] Thank G-d.
Woman 2: [doesn't notice the lack of return greeting] You came to visit, or you came back?
Me: Just a visit.
Woman 2: For how long?
Me: A few weeks.
Woman 2: Are you enjoying it?
Me: [mentally rolling my eyes] Yeah, it's nice....

Then some more people walk in and they start having a chitchat in the middle of Maariv. How educated.
People, learn some halachot. I don't know much, but if I know more than you, and you were raised frum, and have been frum twice as long as I've lived....then busha v'cherpa that someone of my age, stage, and background should know more than you.
Just...leave me alone, chat with your friends, and don't violate halacha.

Sheesh, you don't even know me. Why are you talking to me? I barely recognize you. Chitchat with my mother- she doesn't mind doing so any day of the week, including Tisha b'Av. I hate chitchatting any day of the week, especially Tisha b'Av.

All I can say is: Thank G-d I don't have to put up with these women and then deal with my mother's criticism for rolling my eyes. "You should be careful, you don't know who knows who. If you want to find a shidduch, you have to make a good impression."

Well, thanks. I didn't think that any of these people would know me well enough to suggest someone. Besides, when was the last time I did something in order to make a good impression (with the exception of trying to impress a not-yet-frum person with the refinement/spirituality/whatever of a frum lifestyle)? But I also didn't have a good comeback. Turns out that they didn't and don't know me well enough, as I thought. But at least I won't have to hear that line again....B"H.

Hunger Strike

2009-07-30T20:35:00.001+03:00

I'm on a hunger strike. If Moshiach doesn't come NOW, then I'm not eating for the rest of the DAY! HUMPH...

Don't laugh, it's Tisha B'Av. You're supposed to be crying.

(This picture reminds me of McD's. Is it just me?)

מצפים ...לגאולה?

2009-07-29T17:23:00.002+03:00

ציפיתם לישועה?
Don't erase the "ה" at the end!

By the way, did you hear of the מסכת קדשים המזויף? The guy who did it must have been a genius.

Chochma, Bina, Etc.

2009-07-29T01:44:00.004+03:00

Point 1

חכמה מוחא איהי מחשבה מלגו. בינה לבא ובה הלב מבין. חסד דרועא ימינא, גבורה דרועא שמאלא. תפארת גופא. נצח והוד תרין (=2) שוקין

Then you say, "בינה יתירה נתן ה' באשה יותר מאשר באיש". So- girls have bigger hearts physically? I doubt it- girls' fists are usually smaller than guys', as is the rest of the body. Meh... And no, it's not a figurative description, either. This one, at least, is very physical. Arms, legs, brain...y'alla. So what's the "יתירה"? [Unless, of course, it's the cash left in the bank after you've bought a lot of stuff.] Meh....

Point 2
Of course דיברה תורה בלשון בנ"א, ותורה מדברת בלשון נקי'ה. The problem is only when people forget what the real meaning is.

The point of this post? Don't ask- both these points were floating in my head for a long time. Somehow, they got mushed together.

Summary
Put your hand on your heart: "I pledge allegiance......" Get it? Got it? If you did- good. If you didn't- תפעיל את השכל- אם יש דבר כזה בקדקודך!

Toldot

2009-07-29T01:41:00.001+03:00

Then two projects. Then more Toldot. Then more projects.
Then Vayigash? Maybe.

Some people are not deserving of a response. Those- should not be responded to.
Take it- or leave it.

בחייך

2009-07-29T01:40:00.001+03:00

בחיי ובחייך...בחיי ובחייך! בחיי ובחייך!

Yes- NO!

2009-07-29T01:33:00.001+03:00

The new mantra is, "Yes to Israeli independence, no to American dictates!"
It seems to me to be reminiscent of, "No taxation without representation!"

Sound familiar, anyone?

A Gutten(?) Chodesh

2009-07-21T19:48:00.003+03:00

Chodesh shalom, chodesh tov. Takeoff from "chalom shalom chalom tov". Whatever.

A few points-

1) I haven't forgotten my blog, it's just been VERY busy. The last two weeks have, hands down, been two of the busiest weeks of my life. And I'm not sure it'll stay that way for long- which just stresses me out more.

2) The nine days fall out nicely, with Shabbat just about right in the middle. That means you can take a shower on Erev Shabbat, and not taking a shower means only going without one for four days, instead of almost a week, like last year. Is it just me, or are there others who also don't shower during the nine days?

2a) I honestly don't get the thing with mens' mikvas in the nine days- logically, I know there's a good reason- and I know the reason- but it doesn't sit well, because for some odd reason, it seems a bit too close to swimming.

2b) The "let's take a cold shower" becomes "let's take a lukewarm shower, or even a slightly hot shower", because "in today's day, no one can take a freezing cold shower- it isn't healthy". Alternatively, it's because, "I'm too sensitive to cold water." Sure, I am too- but cold showers are a heter on their own...and I don't think you should build another heter on top of it.

3)I'll probably have slightly more time to post normally in a week or so. No promises, but it is likely.

4) Guys are guys. But sometimes, it's hilarious. Heehee...

5) Why do you need your name inscribed on a leather chitas? For that matter, why do you need a leather chitas?

6) That's it, I think I'm going to finish up the work I'm doing.... Chodesh tov- or chodesh mar, whichever is more appropriate.

מהנדס והנדסאי

2009-07-17T05:58:00.004+03:00

"B.A. להנסדאים של אורט מגיע"
But the grandfather of a young Chabadnik criticized him for learning to be a מהנדס, because it's not an honorable profession (only chinuch is, k'muvan) [rolls eyes].

So is it מהנדס or הנדסאי? Well, it turns out that they're different professions, as I suspected (can't be that they're the same, because then there wouldn't be two very different words). A מהנדס is an engineer or geometrician. A הנדסאי is a practical engineer. Now, go define the difference between those two- one is probably a more specific form of the other- but at least I was right. That's the most important thing- that I'm right.

After all, I know I'm right- I'm always right. [Just ask ----...]

B"H

2009-07-17T05:51:00.003+03:00

-Thank G-d for two of my friends. Now, why didn't I think to ask them before?

-I want to complain to Egged. The 23 is supposed to come every half hour. I waited 50 minutes for a bus, and when I got on and asked the person across from me how long the intervals were supposed to be (who knows, maybe I got mixed up, and it's not Egged's fault...) she said it was supposed to be half an hour, and she'd waited an hour and a half. I could have gotten lost twice and found my way in that time.

But maybe it's because of the hafganot, and it's not Egged's fault. Well, grr if it's hafganot, and grr if it's Egged. Let's complain to both of them.

-I have six seven avodot to finish and hand in before rosh chodesh. But I also am lazy and have other things to do as well. Maybe it's better to do moed bet...but then it'll NEVER get done. Okay, I'm going to go do it. Bye, peeps! In a week, I'll have more time, IY"H...

Today's Talmidei Chachamim

2009-07-17T04:39:00.002+03:00

There is a halacha that a talmid chacham is not allowed to walk in the street with a stain on his garment, because it will disgrace shem Shamayim in the eyes of those who see him. From this we can see that the behavior of talmidei chachamim is scrutinized by the public, and that it is considered the talmid chacham's achrayut to ensure that a chillul Hashem does not come about through him, ch"v.

It is true that most of us today are not talmidei chachamim, including those who profess to be so. However, since there is a dress code and many frum Jews dress very similarly, irreligious Jews cannot tell the difference between who is a talmid chacham and who is not. (This statement does not include g'dolei hador, but definitely does include the "gaon" of every yeshiva out there, especially in communities in which learning is espoused as a standard to which everyone should strive.) In addition, since every frum Jew knows much more Torah than the average not-yet-frum Jew, he is considered by the irreligious and non-Jews to be as a talmid chacham. Included in this are those who are not chareidi, and therefore do not have such a set "uniform", but wear a kippa, tzitzit [and peyos/ beard], since they are recognized by the public to be frum Jews, and are assumed, as such, to be knowledgeable in Torah.

Therefore, even though most frum Jews today are amei ha'aretz (don't know all halacha, don't know chumash with Rash"i and Ramba"n, etc.), they carry the achrayut of a talmid chacham with regards to making a kiddush Hashem. The reason for this is that in the eyes of the world they are as talmidei chachamim, and this halacha is addressing how the world sees them, and not how they- or other frum people- see themselves.

May we all be zoche to fulfill this.

(Arg, Y [plus my Hebrew] is having a horrid influence on my sentence structure and writing skills. Helpp!!!!!!!)

Theoretical Debates

2009-07-15T07:16:00.002+03:00

I just heard a...kind of shocking, actually- though it shouldn't be- story (I heard it- or rather, read it, from the person it happened to (if you'd like to avail yourself of my counseling/listening services, email me). Basically, a couple who was engaged did something quite inappropriate (no, not what you think, but pretty close) while they were engaged. When I heard it, I was kind of shocked.

Then, when arguing with someone about a similar point, I said that until you're married, you're halachically strangers, and anything you do, you may as well have been doing with any other person [ed- except for the emotional factor, which may prove damaging enough to be worse]. The person I was arguing with, however, seems to think that as long as you're going to marry the one you do it with, then it's better [ed- a lot of people seem to think this]. Better, meaning, still wrong, still premature, still a problem- but less of one than if these people weren't engaged. However, I still think (you can use gahs bah as a support) that it's either the same or worse when the two of them are engaged.

Nu, so who's right? What to tell the person who it happened to is a different story....but is it worse that they were engaged, or is it better? And yeah, agav, they're frum. :(

ש"ש, ס"ת

2009-07-15T07:11:00.002+03:00

....ש"ץ שר"י
And a sefer Torah.

Nice match, eh?